One of the salient features of family law cases is lying: parties lie, lawyers lie, witnesses lie. One of the other features is that people rarely get punished for it. The lying is so pervasive that it’s often not possible for the court to sort out who is telling the truth without investing a tremendous amount of time in reviewing the files, which is actually the best way to figure out who is telling the truth.
How do you spot a liar, and does it matter if you do? These are the two big questions.
1. Spotting a liar is not easy, but it also is far from impossible.
Reviewing documentation can provided direct evidence of a lie, for example bank statements showing money in an account that the person has previously denied exists. Or the absence of information in the bank statements which other documents shows must exist. Video evidence, social media evidence all can be powerful evidence. There is also statements by parties themselves which contradict themselves. For example, a party who claims they have earned $200 per month with $10,000 in expenses. Document everything.
The worst and most ineffective way to spot a liar is by use of intuition, which is there are some people who believe they have this god-given ability to determine a lie when they hear one. Studies show this is simply not true.
The second worse, and related, are the cues people can give while telling a lie. While some people will give off the appearance of lying by halting, mixing up their stories, or not giving eye contact, there is no evidence anyone can actually determine a lie by such means. It’s simply mythology, and unfortunately solidified in Evidence Code 780, which actually states demeanor is an important factor to determine veracity.
Does it matter if you do spot a liar? Well, it depends on the Judge. Some judges are not terribly interested in identifying a liar: they assume everyone is and are looking for a way to settle the case or make a quick decision that is probably just. Others see it differently. Turning a blind eye to rampant lying simply kicks the can down the road, and potentially creates successive generations of family law litigants. Unfairness stays with you, it can define your whole being and existence. When resolution, rather than justice, becomes the goal, people remember that.
